Ponytail

As seen on facebook:



I love her little "yay!" at the end.

T, perhaps you should take pointers here. ;)

This is way, way too young

I found the following on Mamamia I think this is so sad. Girls as young as seven thinking they need to be on a diet. Sure, they should be eating healthy (as should we all), but they shouldn't feel the need to document it all. Eating disorder in the making, anyone?

The article:

Help: My daughter is seven. And I found this in her room.

By AMY CHENEY 

I found this today in my daughter’s room. My daughter is seven. It was innocently sitting on the floor amongst the Polly Pockets, friendship bracelets and a variety of other crap seven-year-olds love to hoard.

Diyet. Jesus.
Where did she learn the word diet? How does she even know what a freaking diet is?
Whose fault is this? Is it mine because I let her play with Barbies? Because sometimes she’s allowed to watch Total Drama Action? Is it because when I draw with her I can only draw stick figures?
Seventeen Poosh-ups two times a day.
I felt sick. Physically ill. Like someone had knocked the air from my chest.
I could feel myself getting increasingly anxious the more words I was able to interpret from her seven-year-old spelling.
Three Appals, One Per, Two Keewee Froots.
How did this happen?
I am smart about this stuff. I have a degree in early childhood studies. Our family focuses on and promotes healthy eating and healthy bodies. Our attitudes are reasonable and balanced. Weight has never been an issue in our home – it is, for the most part, irrelevant.
I have never stood before my husband and queried ‘does my arse look big in this’. Ever.

Is media to blame for this?

Rid my bike three time a day.
And then I got angry. Really, really angry.
F*ck you society. F*ck you and your and stupid obsession with women and the way they look.
How dare you sneak into my home with your ridiculous standards and embed them in my little girls head, polluting her innocence with your pathetic ideals.
Jog/run up and down the driv way three times.
Your unrealistic expectations will not win in my house.
I am tired of the beauty and body obsessed arena we live in. I am tired of women being portrayed as objects to be saluted and admired or shunned and shamed depending on whether they measure up to societies idealistic standards. I am tired of the conformist attitudes. And then, because I was so tired (and sad, so sad) that I cried.
When Miss Seven arrived home from school I talked to her about her diet note.
Turns out she learned about diets from one of her seven-year-old friends who was on one.
So together we chatted about diets and beautiful healthy bodies and the gift that they are.
I am not naive. I know this will not be the last time I talk about food and weight and bodies with my daughter. I am just ultra pissed that it had to start when she was seven.

This MUST stop

I should've watched this with kleenex. It had me in tears.



WRONG
WRONG
WRONG

My sugar and spice

A year ago, I found out Selah was going to be a girl, though she knew it all along. ;)

In honor of that, I am posting a list of things I want to teach my daughter that I found on the internet (here).

1. Music is universal.
2. You can make the world a better place by being a better person.
3. Kindness can never be overdone.
4. Never chase a man.
5. Be the brains, and the beauty will follow.
6. Respect your body.
7. Respect yourself.
8. Never trust a man who is unkind to his mother.
9. Never depend on a man (or anyone else) to give you what you want. Get it yourself. 
10.  "There is no one alive who is Youer than You."
11. Dance like nobody's watching.
12. Love with passion.
13. Bad hair days happen- wear a headband.
14. Listen to lyrics- they heal broken hearts.
15. Use writing to vent frustration, rather than speaking mean words.
16. A good book can change your perception.
17. "You is kind.
18. You is smart.
19. You is important."
20. Good girls are good, not boring.
21. Make mistakes.
22. Learn from your mistakes.
23. Travel.
24.  "It isn't what we say or think that defines us, but what we do."
25. Play fair, fight fair. 
26. Wine should be sipped, not chugged.
27. Tea and poetry are better than coffee and talk shows.
28. You can always borrow my clothes, if I can borrow yours.
29.  Find your own voice- write it, speak it, be it.
30. Stand up for what you believe is right.
31. Don't gossip, unless you want to be gossiped about.
32. Your daddy will love you more than any man you ever meet.
33. Decide who you want to be and be confident in your decision.
34. Define yourself by your own attributes, not by what other's expect from you.
35. Pick flowers and put them in your hair.
36. Be the kind of friend you want to have.
36. Dare to be different.
37. Life is fast, live slow.
38.  Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty. 
39. Bad haircuts will grow out.
40. Days without laughter are wasted.
41. Shel Silverstein's books are not just for children.
42. Read everything by Nicholas Sparks. 
43.  "I'll back you up."
44. Go barefoot.
45. Always share secrets with your mother. 
46. Do unto others as you'd have done to you. 
47. It hurts to be beautiful. (my mother use to say this when brushing my hair...it's not metaphorical)
48. You are not entitled to anything, it has to be earned.
49. Promises are always worth keeping.
50. Secrets should only be shared with your mother. 
51. Happiness is a choice.
52. Fairytales are real if you believe in them.
53. You make your own fate.
54. Dream big or don't bother.
55. Big rewards are made from big risks.
56. "Anything can happen child, anything can be."
57. Someone else is happy with less than what you have.
58. Girlfriends- the real kind- are better than therapy.
59. Find a way to create art, it can save your soul. 
60. Take pictures & cherish every. single. memory.
61. Apologizing takes strength. Be strong.
62. Forgive, but don't forget. 
63. Sometimes you have to fake it.
64. You will always remember your first kiss- make it worth the memory.
65. Sometimes I will choose to be your mother, not your friend.
66. All you have is your word- make it stronger than oak. 
67. Find friends who become family.
68. If it looks too good to be true, then it probably is. 
69. Never wear clothing to attract boys, it will attract the wrong kind. 
70. "A room without books is like a body without a soul."
71. Be a lion, not a lamb.
72. Imperfections make you perfectly you.
72. Water-proof mascara is necessary when watching Steel Magnolia.
73. Choose what you eat to be healthy not skinny.
74. Choose the path less traveled, I hear it makes all the difference.
75. You don't need long hair to be feminine.
76. Your brother's will scare off any boy who does not treat you with respect.
77. I will love whoever you choose to love.
78. You will always be my girl.
79. The key to looking "naturally" beautiful is great mascara and a little blush.
80. A pint of icecream and a chick flick will make it better.
81. Daddy will probably never say no to you, so get his credit card and let's go shopping.
82. Daddy will help you with Math homework.
83. I'll read you novels.
84. Let the sun shine on your face.
85. Life can change in an instant, hold on like hell to what you have. 
86.  If you're trying to convince yourself you're right, then you're probably wrong.
87. "Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously."
89. The secrets of life can be found in the novels of Jane Austen. 
90. When you say, "no," mean it.
91. Ponytails are just easier.
92. "For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness."
93. Money does not buy happiness, but it sure is nice.
94. Mommy and Daddy will love you regardless.
95. Guardian angels are real.
96. Sunshine on your shoulders will always get you high. 
97. "Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall- all you have to do is call."
98. Daddy will always be home.
99. I will always be home.
100. "Home is where the heart is."

I love you, Selah Faith.

How to talk to little girls

As an aunt to many little girls and with a baby girl of my own, I found this article by Lisa Bloom interesting. I can't wait to try it out. :)

"I went to a dinner party at a friend's home last weekend, and met her five-year-old daughter for the first time.

Little Maya was all curly brown hair, doe-like dark eyes, and adorable in her shiny pink nightgown. I wanted to squeal, "Maya, you're so cute! Look at you! Turn around and model that pretty ruffled gown, you gorgeous thing!

But I didn't. I squelched myself. As I always bite my tongue when I meet little girls, restraining myself from my first impulse, which is to tell them how darn cute/ pretty/ beautiful/ well-dressed/ well-manicured/ well-coiffed they are.

What's wrong with that? It's our culture's standard talking-to-little-girls icebreaker, isn't it? And why not give them a sincere compliment to boost their self-esteem? Because they are so darling I just want to burst when I meet them, honestly.
Hold that thought for just a moment.

This week ABC News reported that nearly half of all three- to six-year-old girls worry about being fat. In my book, Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World, I reveal that 15 to 18 percent of girls under 12 now wear mascara, eyeliner and lipstick regularly; eating disorders are up and self-esteem is down; and 25 percent of young American women would rather win America's Next Top Model than the Nobel Peace Prize. Even bright, successful college women say they'd rather be hot than smart. A Miami mom just died from cosmetic surgery, leaving behind two teenagers. This keeps happening, and it breaks my heart.
Teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything. It sets them up for dieting at age 5 and foundation at age 11 and boob jobs at 17 and Botox at 23. As our cultural imperative for girls to be hot 24/7 has become the new normal, American women have become increasingly unhappy. What's missing? A life of meaning, a life of ideas and reading books and being valued for our thoughts and accomplishments.

That's why I force myself to talk to little girls as follows.

"Maya," I said, crouching down at her level, looking into her eyes, "very nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," she said, in that trained, polite, talking-to-adults good girl voice.

"Hey, what are you reading?" I asked, a twinkle in my eyes. I love books. I'm nuts for them. I let that show.

Her eyes got bigger, and the practiced, polite facial expression gave way to genuine excitement over this topic. She paused, though, a little shy of me, a stranger.

"I LOVE books," I said. "Do you?"

Most kids do.

"YES," she said. "And I can read them all by myself now!" 

"Wow, amazing!" I said. And it is, for a five-year-old. You go on with your bad self, Maya.

"What's your favorite book?" I asked.

"I'll go get it! Can I read it to you?"

Purplicious was Maya's pick and a new one to me, as Maya snuggled next to me on the sofa and proudly read aloud every word, about our heroine who loves pink but is tormented by a group of girls at school who only wear black. Alas, it was about girls and what they wore, and how their wardrobe choices defined their identities. But after Maya closed the final page, I steered the conversation to the deeper issues in the book: mean girls and peer pressure and not going along with the group. I told her my favorite color in the world is green, because I love nature, and she was down with that.

Not once did we discuss clothes or hair or bodies or who was pretty. It's surprising how hard it is to stay away from those topics with little girls, but I'm stubborn.

I told her that I'd just written a book, and that I hoped she'd write one too one day. She was fairly psyched about that idea. We were both sad when Maya had to go to bed, but I told her next time to choose another book and we'd read it and talk about it. Oops. That got her too amped up to sleep, and she came down from her bedroom a few times, all jazzed up.
So, one tiny bit of opposition to a culture that sends all the wrong messages to our girls. One tiny nudge towards valuing female brains. One brief moment of intentional role modeling. Will my few minutes with Maya change our multibillion dollar beauty industry, reality shows that demean women, our celebrity-manic culture? No. But I did change Maya's perspective for at least that evening.

Try this the next time you meet a little girl. She may be surprised and unsure at first, because few ask her about her mind, but be patient and stick with it. Ask her what she's reading. What does she like and dislike, and why? There are no wrong answers. You're just generating an intelligent conversation that respects her brain. For older girls, ask her about current events issues: pollution, wars, school budgets slashed. What bothers her out there in the world? How would she fix it if she had a magic wand? You may get some intriguing answers. Tell her about your ideas and accomplishments and your favorite books. Model for her what a thinking woman says and does."

Come to think about it, perhaps we should do this with little boys as well. They love books and are stereotyped too.

Try it out. Let me know how well it works. I'll definitely be trying it next time I'm around a little one.