I'm so excited for this....

... I could explode!



I WILL get a babysitter for this movie. I will! And if you know me, you know that's a big deal.

 Any offers?

Rainbows and Sunshine (With Pictures)

Rainbow baby- a baby that is born following a miscarriage or still birth.

In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison. In the case of a rainbow baby, the storm (pregnancy loss) has already happened and nothing can change that experience. Storm-clouds might still be overhead as the family continue to cope with the loss, but something colorful and bright has emerged from the darkness and misery.

 

I think I started planning (and pinning) Selah's first birthday probably before she was even born. You see, I knew she was a rainbow baby and wanted her first birthday party to reflect that. As we got closer to her birthday, our friends and I realized that it would work best for everyone involved to have a joint first birthday party for their son Liam (who was born a week before Selah) and for Selah. Since Rainbows and Sunshine is a pretty non-gender specific theme and I had already done a bunch of planning, we decided to stick with the theme. Works out well because Liam is a rainbow as well. :)

 

I'll, pretty much, let the pictures of the party speak for themselves.

 

"Happy Birthday, Liam & Selah"

Selah and Liam, throughout the year

Handmade felt birthday hat

two 1s for the two one year olds, not an 11 year old

Selah and her friend A with the adopted grandparents

Liam's so serious, but check out that attempted hand holding

Rainbow birthday tutu! (See, Meg? It wasn't that big!)

 And now it's time for a ton of cake smashing photos. Selah LOVED it (hence all of the pictures). Liam? Not so much. I think he ran from the cake and the icing and his crazy little girlfriend who was covered in the cake and icing.

Smash cupcake (from Blushing Bakeshop)

 

 

 Though the ground outside was covered in snow, the party inside was full of love and warmth, courtesy of our rainbows and sunshines and everybody who loves them.

Ponytail

As seen on facebook:



I love her little "yay!" at the end.

T, perhaps you should take pointers here. ;)

I REALLY don't want you to understand why today's shower is difficult

 Today I am co-hosting a baby shower. Why? I'm not so sure myself. Well, I do know why (because it's my friend's co-hosting with me and it's for our friend's baby), but I don't know why I am doing it since it actually is kinda tough on me.

You see, this baby that is being showered is due only a couple of weeks before I should've been due. This baby is their second as our lost baby would've been for us. The mom is the one who hugged me without letting go after she heard of our third loss. How is that bad, you ask? You see, that innocent hug? It pushed her rounding baby belly into my recently evacuated belly area... and it. wouldn't. move. (And, yes, I am aware that this is my "issue" and not hers. That's why I haven't told her.) This mom complained about pregnancy related things at a shower we were at a couple of weeks ago. This mom doesn't understand. Heck, YOU may not understand. But I'm glad you don't understand.

I found the following article online at Still Standing. It may help explain a little bit of that lingering sadness (And jealousy? Probably.).

I’m Glad You Don’t Understand

August 11, 2012

Guest Post by Tracy [On Still Standing]

Yesterday my mom said that I should do things I don’t want to because it will help me get over it faster. And then today suggested I visit my doctor—I might need medicine for depression.
I’m not going to get over it—I may get through it; there may be another side of this grief, but it will never be over.

I’m sad—grieving—but I don’t think I’m depressed. It’s only been two weeks. I lost a child. A child I had hopes and dreams for. Eleven weeks in utero or eleven years on earth… I still am not supposed to outlive my child. I am sad. Drugs won’t make my sadness go away.

I was hurt. This is my mother whom I’m very close to. I always feel able to tell her anything. And now I know I won’t anymore. Not this. This is mine to hold—not to hurt. I went in my house, sat on the stairs and held back tears.

And then I thought about it…

I already tell myself that the words come from a good place. And in my head I repeat the mantra “It’s from a good place, it’s from a good place.”

But recently, I’ve added another thought: “I’m so glad they don’t understand.” To understand is to have lost. That’s the only way someone really “gets it.” They too lost a child like I lost a child. They too wept for their baby, their dreams and their innocence.

I would never wish that hurt on anyone. No matter how much they hurt me. I don’t want them to understand—most especially not my mom. that understanding comes at such a high price. And I would never, ever, ever want any one else to pay that price.

My price is enough.

So please don't get me wrong. I am so happy for my friends. I am always happy for new babies to be brought into the world. I'm just sad that one of those new babies isn't my baby. 

Yet.

I love me some strings

Fun fact about Beth:

I played two different stringed instruments when I was younger: the viola and the cello. I was first chair cellist (out of minimum of three) before I switched to viola. Never made it above second chair with viola though. I probably could've been better, but I hated practicing.

If I had practiced, I probably still wouldn't have been as awesome as this guy. Watch the video and then check out his youtube page for other songs he has covered.



See? The violin can be fun! Now... perhaps I should start playing the viola or violin we have again....

Yeah. Probably not.

Disney

Happy Easter!

From me and my (not-so-grumpy-anymore) bunny, happy Easter!