Wednesday, November 21, 2012

The day the heart stopped beating

On October 15th, I found out I was pregnant. A definite surprise, but such a welcome one. For a week or two, this was my little secret. God and I shared this secret.

I told Timmy via text message picture of a dinner roll in the oven. A bun in the oven. Our surprise.

I dreamed of how I would share our news with our family and friends we were overjoyed and so in love.

I went to the doctor and was given a due date towards the beginning of June. Bloodwork was drawn and ultrasound appointment was scheduled. I couldn't wait to share my joy.

This week was my appointment. I am(?) 11.5 weeks pregnant. The baby in the ultrasound, the baby in my belly, measured 7.5 weeks... without a heartbeat. Our baby, our joy, our surprise, died within the last few weeks.

Bleeding has started, but a D&E has been scheduled for Friday. What a Black Friday we'll have this year.

Pre-op was done this morning for my 4-5 surgical procedure this year. At least they'll be putting me completely under this time. I couldn't bear to be conscious while my (dead) baby is ripped from my body.

Please pray for us during this time. When I'm ready to talk about this in person, I will.


  1. I am so totally heartbroken and devastated for you! Oct 15 last year we learned that our surprise natural pregnancy had ended. I'm here if you want to talk and you'll be in my thoughts and prayers HUGS!!!

  2. LYMI. I will continue to pray for you, Timmy, and SFM.

  3. Zach and I are praying for you!! Sending all our good thoughts your way!!!

  4. Oh Beth, I am so sorry and heartbroken for your family! Praying for you guys!

  5. Beth, I am so sorry. I had no idea - I've been on a long blogcation, so I just... I'm sorry I didn't know sooner to be a better friend this past week. Big hugs, sweet girl. <3