Today is one of my many baby loss anniversaries. Though I did go on to become a mother thanks to Selah, memories of this day will always be with me. It doesn't help that history keeps repeating itself.
I made it to a few moments ago until my emotions about this day came through. I'm thankful for all that I do have. I am thankful for my health. I am thankful for my wonderful husband. I am especially thank for my little girl.
I am still hurting. I am hurting on this day of days for what I no longer have. I am hurting for my three consecutive years pregnant on this holiday with only one child to show for it. I am hurting that I am not (still or again) pregnant this holiday as well (that I know of). I am hurting that I can't do more for all of those babies out there who do not have on this day.
Why can't I have arms as full as the love I have in my heart for all of those babies out there in this world and those no longer in it?
One thing I do know, we are extremely thankful for this little girl.
A year ago today (well, tonight), I was losing my fourth pregnancy (third lost baby). I remember. I'll always remember. My heart is breaking. This whole week has been spent with reminders, painful, sad reminders, of that lost baby.
You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."