Sunday, August 17, 2014

It's a....

The old wives tales said Girl. Your voted ended in a tie. What is the baby's gender?

It's a...

That's right! We're having a boy!

We announced to family and friends with the above canvas painted blue. All three of us, Selah included, helped paint the canvas blue using a different shade for each of us. We will later put his name on it (when we decide on the final name) and use the canvas in his room. 

Selah's getting a brother!

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

OWT Results

Tomorrow we will find out if we will be having another little girl or if I need to start gathering little boy things. The final tally for the Old Wives Tales (OWT) is:

Girl- 8
Boy- 5

Winner- GIRL

We'll see tomorrow if that is right. Be sure to cast your final vote in the poll in the upper left corner before midnight tonight. And no. I have not voted.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

OWT: Necklace Over Head

The OWT says for you to have someone hold a necklace over your head to see which way it swings (similar to the OWT done a couple of days ago). If it swings back and forth, it means boy. In a circle means girl.

T held the necklace over my head and he says it swung in a circle and swung back and forth. Little help was that. But when I tried it to myself (with a mirror), I saw the same thing. It starts with a small circle or two, then starts swinging back and forth. This was a really close one, but I'm going to say it swings back and forth more than a circle. This give an OWT point to boy!

Girl- 8, Boy- 5

Monday, August 11, 2014

OWT: Bread

Today's OWT is another food related tale about the heels of bread.

I've never liked to eat the heels. I will usually even skip the piece next to the heel. I just don't like it and I still don't. Seriously, who does?

The tale from those old wives says that if you enjoy eating the heel of bread while pregnant, you are going to have a boy. If you prefer the middle, it's a girl. So, in this case, girl it is!

Girl-  8, Boy- 4

Sunday, August 10, 2014

OWT: Wedding Ring Gender Test

You use a pin, needle, or wedding ring and attach it to a thread or strand of hair. Hold the dangling item over the belly. If the needle or wedding ring swings in a strong circular motion, you will be having a girl. If it moves in a to and fro motion like a pendulum, you will be having a boy. You can also try this over the wrist instead of the belly.

I did this one today, over belly and over wrist. Both of them swung strongly in a circular motion. I's say that means Girl

Girl- 8, boy- 4

Saturday, August 9, 2014

OWT: Feet

Pre-pregnancy, I could always shock T by putting my feet on him under the warm covers. They were always like ice! Now, they are still cold, but if anything, they are now warmer.

The OWT says that if your feet get colder, then it means you are having a boy. The same? Girl. I'd say this is a point for girl.

Girl- 7, Boy- 4

Friday, August 8, 2014

OWT: Hands

I read what the instructions for this OWT (but not how to interpret the results) and asked T to ask me to show him my hands. When he did, I showed him my hands palm down. Then I read the results.

The OWT says that if you show your hands palm up, it means baby is a girl. Palm down, boy. Looks like I got another point for boy!

Girl- 6, Boy- 4

Thursday, August 7, 2014

OWT: Clumsiness vs Gracefulness

The Old Wives Tales believe that being pregnant with a girl brings grace and a boy brings many broken dishes and bruises. And I... I am far from graceful. This is a no brainer point for boy.

Girl- 6, Boy- 3 

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

OWT: Mayan Gender Charts

Apparently, the Mayan Gender charts are figured out like this: Mother's age and year of conception both even or both odd, baby is girl. If the mother's age is even and the year of conception is odd (or vice versa), then baby is boy.

Well, I was 29 when I conceived and I conceived in 2014. Therefore, according to the Mayan Gender Charts, the baby is a boy.

Girl- 6, Boy- 2

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

OWT:Chinese Gender Charts

Today's OWT is a pretty common one: the Chinese Gender Charts.

I conceived during the month of April and I was 29 when I conceived. According to this Chinese Gender Chart, the baby is a girl.

Girl- 6, Boy- 1

I forgot how much "baby swag" you use

Monday, August 4, 2014

OWT: Moodiness

Since being pregnant, I have been so moody. I seem to go from happy to upset super quickly and I've unfortunately (and uncontrollably) been taking some things too seriously that I normally could let just roll off my back. So between being super moody and being super happy, there's no question that I have been supper moody.

The OWT says that if you are moody, you are having a girl (What are they trying to say about females being moody here, huh?). If you haven't been majorly moody, if happiness has ruled you since becoming pregnant, then a boy is in your belly. This point has to go with the moodiness and team girl.

Girl- 5, Boy-1

Sunday, August 3, 2014

OWT: Cravings

Today's OWT is about my cravings. Are they salty? Are they sweet?

I never really cared for too many sweet things before, but now? I love them. Ice cream? Before.... not so much. Now? We've had it for dinner more often than I like to admit. Fruit? Delish! I could devour a bunch of hot, fresh Krispy Kreme doughnuts and/or chocolate chip cookies right now.

The OWT says that if you crave salty food, you should expect a boy. Sweets your thing? A little girl is in your future. This is an obvious point for girl.

Girl- 4, Boy- 1

Saturday, August 2, 2014

OWT: Headaches

I've had several headaches. Several. And they haven't been too pleasant. Usually escalating to a point of nausea and such pain that can only bring me to tears and make me want to hole up in a dark room until I die (because I can't imagine the headache ending any other way). But this isn't new. I'm no stranger to headaches, but during pregnancy, when I can hardly take anything for them, they are killers.

The OWT says that if you get several bad headaches while pregnant, you are having a boy. I'm not sure if this counts for me because I'm not getting headaches any more often than before. I just can't use drugs to get rid of them. Either way, I'm giving this point to the boy team.

Girl- 3, Boy- 1

Friday, August 1, 2014

OWT: Acne

This OWT is about acne. Apparently, if you have more acne while pregnant, it means you are having a girl. If you have the same amount (or less) than you did pre-pregnancy, then you are having a boy.

My acne is unbelievably bad for my normally clear skin. Annoying so. This means Girl.

Girl- 3, Boy- 0

Thursday, July 31, 2014

OWT: Morning Sickness

The OWT says that if you experience horrid morning sickness, then chances are baby is a girl. If not, boy. I have been nauseated without fail since so early on (like 15-20 hrs a day until the last few weeks. Now it's about 1-4 hrs a day). Therefore, I'm saying I've had pretty bad morning sickness so far, staying pretty annoying since I've entered the 2nd trimester, instead of going away (like the books and websites say). This would mean that this OWT would be girl.

Girl- 2, Boy- 0

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

OWT: Heartbeat

One of the most frequently asked about Old Wives Tale is about baby's heartbeat. Over 140- Girl, Under 140- Boy

Winner of this OWT with a heartbeat of 169 (and 154 at last appt)= Girl

Girl- 1  Boy-0

Monday, July 28, 2014

Baby update

Sorry that I shared the news and then disappeared. Everything is still going well (as far as I know). Baby seems to be growing as expected.

We will be finding out on August 14 if we should be buying more pink or if we should breakout some blue! I have put up a poll up at the top on the left hand side for you to leave your guess. I plan on posting blogs with my answers for some of those Old Wives Tales (OWT) you always hear about like I did for Selah. The answers for those were pretty accurate. It said She would be a girl and she is!

So keep your eyes peeled for some OWT posts and vote in my poll!

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Sharing (Part 2)

Read Sharing (Part One) here.

It's true. I am pregnant. Finally. But, like all of my other pregnancies, this one couldn't just be easy.

I found out I was pregnant on Mother's Day. What a fabulous gift! This pregnancy would be it! This one would be normal!


At my 6 week ultrasound, the tech saw the sack which measured correctly. However, she did not see the baby developing like it should have. It was nothing more than a "yolk" (her words) without a heartbeat. At 6 weeks, there should have been a heartbeat.

The doctor said with a look of sadness on his face that "it was still early" and that "we should wait to see at another scan in a week or so". I knew what that meant. I've already lost 4 other babies. He was just giving me a week or so of hope before my baby would be gone from me forever.

I went home in tears. My next U/S would be at 8 weeks since I was about to leave town for my niece's graduation in Florida. I quickly contacted some of the most reliable, most trusted people in my life who promptly started praying for me and for my baby.

I prepared my mind for the (assumed) fact that I was about to have another miscarriage. I cried. Oh, how I cried. I yelled at God. I even had several moments where my faith wavered. How could God be doing this to us again? I pleaded with God. I remember, the night before the ultrasound, absolutely poring my heart and soul out to God, begging him "Please! Please! Please don't let me lose another!" Verbally yelling this to Him. Then I just decided to give it all to Him. I kind of just gave up that night and said that this baby was His to do with what He wanted, no matter how much I wanted it here. I handed all of my fears and worries over.

I went in to the ultrasound room expecting to hear that the baby was officially gone. I had even made peace with that. But I was in for a shock.

As I stared at the ceiling waiting for the ultrasound to be over, I hear the tech say with shock in her voice "Everything looks great!" Wait... What? "Look. The baby is measuring right on track. There is it's little heart pumping away."


Not only was the baby alive, but it's growth had caught up 100% and it has a strong heartbeat. They seemed as shocked as I was. As I am.

But you know what? I shouldn't be. God works MIRACLES. He works them all the time and I am proof. My baby is proof!

So yeah. I am currently almost 10 weeks pregnant, due New Years. I am announcing this early and I am one to know for a fact that things can change, but I want everybody to know about the miracle that God has done for us.

Because God is good. ALL the time.

Sharing (Part 1)

Mommy and Daddy say I need to learn to share.

I'll share my toys with you.

Well, except my Anna doll

You can ride in the car with me.

I saved you a swing

I'll give you some of my eclair from Amelie's.

We can ride together in the cart at Target.

I'll even let you sit in my chair at the table. I left my veggies for you.

I have a chair for you to sit outside with me.

I'll even throw a ball to you!

Wait, what? Mommy and Daddy say I'll have to wait until New Years to meet you.

I'll be ready for you!

Baby #2 due New Years! We are so excited!

Be sure to read Sharing (Part Two) for more on our little Miracle

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Friday, May 23, 2014

Prayers please

For I know the plans I have for you. Plans not to harm you but give you a hope and a future.

~ Jer 29:11

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day isn't easy for everyone

It's Mother's Day and all that I can think about are all of those lovely ladies I know who will not be able to celebrate it, whether they are still waiting for a baby because of infertility, adoption or a marriage or because they are still mourning because of miscarriage, baby loss or child loss or because they no longer have a mother here on Earth.

I hope all of you have a day full of peace and knowledge that someone sees you, hears you, and prays daily for you.

Love you guys.

Friday, April 25, 2014

29 questions

Thanks, Caitlin, for this blog filler!

1. What are you wearing?

Comfortable at home wear aka pjs

2. Ever been in love?

I have

3. Ever had a terrible breakup?

I'm sure I have

4. How tall are you?


5. How much do you weigh?

Too much

6. Any tattoos?

Nope. Not yet

7.  Any piercings?

Two holes in each ear, though I think they have now closed up. :(

8. Favorite song?

Right now:

9. Quality you’d look for in a partner?


10.  Favorite quote?

“Though she be but little, she is fierce!”

― William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream

11. Favorite actor?

Oooo. I have a few, but a favorite doesn't come to mind. If he's funny, though, I'm sure I like him.

12. Loud music or soft?

Soft. Unless I am singing along.

13. Where do you go when you’re sad?

Target. But I go there when I'm happy as well, so....

14.  How long does it take for you to get ready in the morning?

It takes me, by myself, a max of 10 min. Thinking about investing more time though.

15. Every been in a physical fight?

Yes. Long story,

16. Turn on?

Ummmm... my mom reads this. Let's just say humor, musical ability and love of children and animals

17.  Turn off?


18.  Fears?

Failure and loneliness

19.  Last thing that made you cry?

A kind lady told me that I was doing a good job with Selah. She is one of the only people to ever do so. Seriously.

20. Last time you said you loved someone?

When T went to bed at 9:30.

21. Meaning behind your YouTube name?

I think it is jemini602 which is Gemini (I am a gemini, obvi)  but with a J because of an OOOOOLD nickname and 602 is my birthday.

22. The relationship between you and the person you last texted?

She is the one who reassures me that I am not insane. Cheers me up when I'm feeling down. Indulges my crazy side.

23. Favorite food?

Suuuuushi and iced coffee

24.  Place you want to visit?

Austin, Australia and the person in #22

25.  Do you have a crush?

We don't keep soda in our house.

26. Last time you kissed someone?

Selah tonight at bedtime.

27. Last time you were insulted?

During coffee this afternoon

28.  Favorite piece of jewelry?

My Tiffany's Cross Necklace that T gave me for our first Christmas married. I almost never take it off.

29. Who should answer these questions next?

You  Answer a question in the comments section, just for fun. Or do a post on your blog and link it up in the comments section for others to find!

Thursday, March 6, 2014


So my little Selah Faith is TWO! When did this happen?!

From this:

To this!

Cupcake Daze at her birthday party
Selah is currently about 25lbs and 34.5 in tall. She has all of her teeth with the exception of her two year molars. I think. We never know when she is teething so they may be in or coming in. As you can see, she has blue eyes and blonde hair that you can usually find in pigtails. No first haircut yet, but probably soon. Selah never meets a stranger. Everybody is an immediate friend to this little social butterfly!

Selah likes:
  • My Little Pony
  • Curious George
  • Making muffins and topping them with sprinkles
  • Pink
  • Doggies
  • Playing drums
  • Babies (aka dolls)
  • Bedtime kisses on her elbows
  • Roaring like a tiger
  • Minnie Mouse
  • Animal from the Muppets
  • Tea Parties
  • Bath time
  • Eavesdropping
  • Knocking down towers
  • Balls
  • Story time at the Library
  • Playing Fetch with Ellie (though she pronounces Fetch with a B)
  • Flowers
  • Dresses
  • Swinging at the park
  • Seeing her friend Holden
  • Singing and talking to herself everywhere and anywhere. Even as she falls asleep.
  • Getting in your face while speaking Selah-ese, just to end with nodding of her head like she has convinced you of something.

Selah dislikes:
  • Vacuums
  • Bubble wrap
  • Being told No and to Sit Down

Favorite foods:
  • Cheese
  • Applesauce
  • Pretzels
  • Strawberries ("Strawbees")
  • Popcorn (aka Bubbles in Selah-ese)

Favorite phrases:
  • Ha-cha-cha (a la Shirley Temple)
  • Whoa!
  • _____, Where ah yoo?
  • Jah Ta dore.
  • Ah-mmy? Ah-mmy? Ah-mmy! Hi, Ah-mmy!
  • I wuvwooo. (From us saying "I love you" silly like that)
  • Night night sleepy? Go night night? 
  • (while patting you on the back) Good job! Awesome! Nice job!

Favorite songs to sing:
  • "A B C D A B C"
  • "Happy day to you"

All in all, she is a pretty awesome little girl that is growing more and more amazing everyday. These past two years have been some of my absolute favorite and I look forward to so many more with her.

Happy Day to You, little bunny. Happy day to you!

Friday, February 21, 2014

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Birthday Cards and crying in Target

I saw a card in 2008 or so while picking up Valentine's Day cards (or Mother's Day or something) and I immediately knew that it was the perfect birthday card for my stepfather. However, I couldn't buy it at the time, perhaps due to finances or fear of losing it before his birthday. I figured it was a card. I could find it again as I got closer to his June birthday.

I should have bought it when I first saw it.

I have looked every spring since then for that card so I could get it for him. I never saw it again.

Well, until I was at Target buying T a Valentine's Day card and a couple of birthday cards for other family members. While looking in the father section, a card caught my eye. It was the card! I found the perfect card for my stepfather! My joy turned to tears pretty quickly (seriously. I had to wipe tears off my face in Target's card section).

You see, my stepfather died a year ago today. I can never give him that card again. I can never ask him home repair questions again. I can never hear his laugh again. I can never hear him say that I make a better door than I do a window when I stand between him and the TV. I can never see him wave to Selah again. There are so many things I miss about him. Still.

I miss him.

Spare a Rose, Save a Child

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Pretty spot on

 I found this article online and I found it hit pretty close to home.

"Losing the Baby: My week of gestational limbo. By
"Last month, I decorated a Christmas tree, baked holiday cookies, and wrapped dozens of presents. All the while, I was having a miscarriage.

On TV and in the movies, a miscarriage involves an unsuspecting mother-to-be suddenly clutching her gut, discovering some worrisome blood, and rushing to the hospital. A few hours later she lies wanly in bed while her loved ones whisper that she has “lost the baby.” Parenting websites explain the causes of miscarriage and encourage you to be optimistic about your future chances of conception. They tell you it’s OK to grieve. But like the TV shows that cut quickly from the sudden cramping to the sad, hushed aftermath, they don't tell you anything about what a miscarriage is actually like.
Let me tell you about my miscarriage.

When my pregnancy should have been about nine weeks along, my husband and I headed into the doctor's office for my first ultrasound. It was a Tuesday, Christmas Eve. We were looking forward to seeing an amorphous gray blob on the screen and trying earnestly to see in it our future baby boy or girl; we were eager to hear a heartbeat. But the image that popped up on the monitor was far less encouraging: a dense black patch containing no tiny pulsating heart, no cryptic but exhilarating gray squiggles.

Here’s the primary thing they never tell you about miscarriage: When used by medical professionals, the word refers to the entirety of a nonviable early pregnancy, a period that can span weeks. It starts when cell division in the embryo grinds quietly to a halt; the blood and the passing of tissue that we think of as “a miscarriage” are but the final phase. It is a lingering process. For a full week I was in a sort of gestational limbo, feeling neither pregnant nor truly unpregnant.

This ambiguity left me painfully confused about the most mundane of situations. Hours after the ultrasound disappointment, my sister was ordering sushi for our family and I nearly cried when she asked what I wanted. There was no longer any real need to restrict myself to cucumber rolls and spider maki, but a spicy tuna roll—raw and potentially mercury-laced—just felt inappropriate, callous. Before Christmas dinner the next night I actually did shed tears trying to decide whether a glass of sauvignon blanc would help me relax or, after more than a month of temperance, simply throw my situation into painful relief.

Confusion was just one emotion. There has been the sadness, of course, like a mineshaft boring down behind my ribcage. There have been understandable, if unfounded, pinpricks of guilt as I wonder whether I could have done something differently to stop this from happening. These feelings are well covered by the baby blogs.

There have also, however, been unexpected and pervasive feeling of foolishness, the sense that I was being stupidly naive whenever I daydreamed about my future child. It is almost embarrassing to remember the light-hearted conversations about baby names, the nursery decoration ideas I saved on a secret Pinterest board called “Baby Rooms.” It seems that when I told my best friend, “I’m pregnant!” I already wasn't, not really, and I feel ridiculous and slightly ashamed whenever I think of that cheerful declaration.

At the same time, however, I can't help but wonder if I have grieved enough. On pregnancy websites and discussion boards, I read stories of women who cried for days and mourned for months after their miscarriages. That has not been me. I have cried and might again (a rack of onesies in Target the other day pushed some emotional buttons), but I confess it didn't take me long to begin healing. It took less than a week to start re-adjusting my expectations for the coming months so that they no longer included watching my belly slowly swell and feeling the kick of new life. Today, my lost pregnancy is a bittersweet might-have-been, not a gaping hole.

Occasionally, I even feel a bit relieved, though I know I’m not supposed to admit such a thing. My husband and I dearly wanted this almost-child, but we also worried whether we were ready, financially and emotionally, to expand our family. So, threaded through the heavy curtain of our mourning are a few silver threads of comfort. At least we no longer have to plan an expensive move. At least we’ll have less debt by the next pregnancy.

Among this whole assortment of emotions, however, the most burning feeling was anticipation. I found myself eagerly awaiting the one thing most pregnant women fear: the pain and the blood. I did not get the quick cut to post-miscarriage grieving. I started bleeding ever so slightly on a Thursday, two days after we received the crushing news. From that point on, I made every trip to the bathroom with a vigilant eye, assessing whether there was more blood this time than the last time. Every appointment I put in my calendar for the following week had a mental asterisk next to it: *as long as I am not curled up in bed, wracked with cramps.

Still, I wanted the worst to come. I wanted out of the confounding state of neither-nor, out of knowing the end was inevitable but still carrying within me some genetic fragment of my previous dreams. I wanted something physical and visible to give shape to the formless fog of unhappiness around me, something I could point to and say, “That. That is why, sometimes, out of the blue my hand starts shaking a little and why the tears pop up at the strangest of times.”

On Sunday, the slow trickle of blood escalated into the painful cramping and heavy bleeding that finally ushered the nonviable tissue from my body. I laid on the couch and watched football and crime dramas while my husband fetched pizza and made me hot chocolate. I was quiet and somber, but I did not cry. Over the following days, the bleeding ebbed, though it did not disappear completely for nearly a week. My body was still wrapping things up, putting the final touches on my brief brush with pregnancy.

Exactly one week after that first, sad ultrasound, I called the doctor's office to update her, as instructed, on the progress of my miscarriage. When my doctor was unavailable, the receptionist tried to determine where to route my call.

“Are you pregnant?” she asked.

“No,” I answered. “I am not.”"

While I didn't write the words above, like I said, they were so eerily close to what I have experienced it. Sarah's words were so perfect I wanted to share them with you.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Only 97

I did it. I let my thoughts go there. I assumed the worst because, hey, what reason do I have not to let my thoughts go in that direction?

I tested my (almost) 2 year old daughter's blood sugar, due to a quickly filled diaper.

Being diabetic has ruined my thoughts. Where most parents would say, "Hey. She has had a lot to drink today because of dehydrating meds and stubbornness of eating the solid foods placed in front of her, leading to a quicker emptying bladder.", I think "Omg. Omg. She's chugging liquid. A sign she has diabetes too! Her diaper has filled too too quickly. Frequent urination? Another sign! Omg. My baby has diabetes." Why must stupid diabetes force my mind into immediate assumptions?

So I did all I know to do (other than worry). I got out my blood sugar tester and pricked her tiny, unblemished fingertip. I squeezed out a drop of blood and put it on the strip, as she said "Ouch, mommy! Sugar, mommy? Ouch!" I waited that long agonizing 5 seconds for a result to pop up on the screen.

And I prayed.

I prayed that she wouldn't have diabetes this young. I prayed that she wouldn't ever have to understand first hand what I have to understand... to live. I prayed that the number that popped up on that screen would at least be between 90-120. I prayed. Oh, God. I prayed.

97. Her blood sugar (an after dinner one, at that) was only 97. Perfect. Not the extreme, telling high number I was fearing. Her drinking? Just because she was thirsty. Huh. Imagine that. Drinking to quench a normal thirst only and not to quench a high blood sugar induced thirst (yes. They are different.). And a wet diaper because she just had a lot to drink because of that previously mentioned normal thirst.

Not diabetes. Not my baby. Not this time.

Though this was the first time I've felt the need to act on these thoughts, I'm sure it won't be the last.

Damn you, diabetes.  We need a cure.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Saturday, January 4, 2014


Happy New Year, whoever is actually out there reading this!

I say that because I haven't had any comments on here since SEPTEMBER. I know my blogging has been sporadic at best. I'm sorry. But is there anybody still out there?

I have a lot of posts queued up for posting coming up soon. However, due to lack of commenting, I will probably be going private. If I get a few comments on this post proving that there are humans out there reading this with interest in what I have to say, then I will stay public. I'd really like to stay public, but yeah.

So, to give you something to comment on, what is your favorite warm weather activity? I hate cold weather. Give me something to look forward to!