If I didn't have rabies before, I certainly do now

Baby rabies, that is.

While T's sister was on a multi-state journey today, the Timmy and I watched our nephew L for her. At four and a half, to call him active and hyper would be an understatement. That boy got some energy. We all had a fun (and busy) day that ended with us helping us with his bedtime routine. That's where the things happened that made me fall in love with my husband even more and made my case of wanting a child explode even more.

Part of the routine includes reading a story (or two) and bedtime prayers. L wanted his Uncle Tim to read the stories. While I was watching, I saw the man that he could (and he will!) become when we have kids. It was such a sweet and precious sight: T and L, cuddled up on the bed reading a bedtime story.

But prayer time was really what made my heart explode. L said his own sweet little prayer and asked God and Jesus to help protect a bunch of people individually, including us, his mommy and, sweetest of all, his new stepfather and stepsister. I swear I'm too emotional. That brought tears to my eyes.

His ending, though, was an awesome (and totally needed) prayer ending: "Lord, help us all."

:explode:

Move over, T. There's another man in my life.

I've recently acquired a position nannying for some friends a couple of days a week. They have a 4 month old son, M. Baby M is a joy to watch. He is such a sweet, happy boy. Well, unless he's ready to eat or finish eating. Then he's not messing around. Eating is serious business, you know.

So cute and such a flirt!

Babysitting

When you read this, I will be in the middle of babysitting. This may be hard on me emotionally.

You see... I went over to their house for a pre-babysitting interview December 1. I was still freshly pregnant, thinking a baby this old, baby things like these, will be at my house this time next year. I was excited, giddy, hopeful. I knew babysitting baby M wouldn't be any problem. Heck, it'd be a bit of practice! The mom and I set up a date and time for me to come over to babysit after I got back from my friend's out of town wedding. It was going to be fun.

If you've been reading my blog, you know what happened at that wedding. I had a miscarriage. Everything I was preparing for was gone. That was tough alone, but I still had this mother depending on me to sit for her in a day or so. I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I was going to try. That morning, I woke up in the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. I still tried to convince myself that I could still babysit that day. However, T told me that I shouldn't force myself. I was in pain, emotionally and physically, so I called the mom and told her I was sorry, but I was pretty sick and I didn't think I could make it to sit. I never told her what happened. I didn't know how. I hardly knew how to tell my own mother. I figured if M's mom had a problem with me canceling last minute, then I just would lose the chance of babysitting for them. So be it.

Then, two months pass and I get a phone call from her asking me if I was free to babysit for M while they went out for the dad's birthday. I said yes.

That's where I am right now. Babysitting and trying not to remember things that happened last time I tried to. God will definitely be with me tonight. He will be holding my hand and keeping me able to care for this beautiful little girl without me hurting too much. I know this, but could you pray for me, too?