In response to my April Fools Day post

Yes. She is pregnant and, no, it wasn't an April Fools joke.

Yes, I am feeling a bit hurt. No, I know I don't have any right to feel like I deserved something else.

She is one of my best friends. We have been in each others weddings. I would do anything for her (and I know for a fact that she knows that). I love her kids as if they were my own nieces and nephew. I love her.

But I am still hurt. She says that she didn't want to tell me earlier because she knew how it might make me feel. It still hurt to have to go on facebook (right after I ended my facebook strike because of those kinds of announcements and on April Fools day when so many people were posting joke statuses like that) and see this news about my best friend. The same friend that specifically sent me a text saying she was pregnant with her little boy a couple of years ago. It hurt that she felt as if she had to hide this joyous news from me. I know it was to spare my feelings, but it still hurt.

The whole pregnancy thing doesn't bother me. In fact, I am overjoyed that she is having another, as difficult as it may be. She has grown into motherhood beautifully and this child has a mother and father (among other family and friends, me included) that care for it so much. I am happy for her. I am incredibly happy and excited for her. Like I said, I'm just hurt that she felt she had to hide it from me. If she hides that, what else would she hide? If she hides something like this, who else is hiding things from me?

I know that, just because she got pregnant or because someone else does, it doesn't mean I won't have a baby or can't have one or even that I am not pregnant right now. I just wish it was my sooner rather than later.