But I'm sad for me. Manley stepped in to be my father when the actual one kept his distance. Manley never used 'step' in front of daughter when talking about me. He never made me feel like I was in the way, like I was an annoyance that came with marrying my mom. He was happy to have us as his family and I him.
He married my mom when I was 4. He accepted me as his. His family became my family. My first niece and nephew were from his daughter. His aunt, cousin, her children and their children were my family. I've never known different because Manley never let me feel as if they were anything but my family. Some of my sadness from his death is also from the fact that I have no connection to his family anymore. They have no reason to act as if we are family anymore. I'm afraid I'm losing more than a wonderful father, but an entire family as well. I hope not...
While I am terribly upset of his passing and unsure about the future of half the relatives I have, I will be strong. I need to. I have to. My super resilient mother needs it even if she doesn't say. Plus, my life isn't my own anymore. I have a little to take care of during this time.
But it's still hard.
|Father/daughter dance with my REAL father|