Birthday Cards and crying in Target

I saw a card in 2008 or so while picking up Valentine's Day cards (or Mother's Day or something) and I immediately knew that it was the perfect birthday card for my stepfather. However, I couldn't buy it at the time, perhaps due to finances or fear of losing it before his birthday. I figured it was a card. I could find it again as I got closer to his June birthday.

I should have bought it when I first saw it.

I have looked every spring since then for that card so I could get it for him. I never saw it again.

Well, until I was at Target buying T a Valentine's Day card and a couple of birthday cards for other family members. While looking in the father section, a card caught my eye. It was the card! I found the perfect card for my stepfather! My joy turned to tears pretty quickly (seriously. I had to wipe tears off my face in Target's card section).

You see, my stepfather died a year ago today. I can never give him that card again. I can never ask him home repair questions again. I can never hear his laugh again. I can never hear him say that I make a better door than I do a window when I stand between him and the TV. I can never see him wave to Selah again. There are so many things I miss about him. Still.

I miss him.