I just found out a bunch of excellent news!
I purchased a Powerball lottery ticket for last night's drawing.... and won! I won $81 million dollars! Please please please don't tell the Timmy. We plan on leaving him now that I have this money and move to France. Yes, we. Me and my unborn children. I didn't tell you guys I'm pregnant with twins? Oops. I thought it'd be best not to. You see, the Timmy and I are not quite sure who the father is.
Well, anyways, I'll be quitting my job and moving as soon as the money comes in. I have one last thing to say to you guys: April Fools!
Yes. Everything above is a joke. I didn't win the lottery. Heck. I don't even play. I would NEVER leave the Timmy nor would I ever cheat on him. We are still very, very much in love and nothing could change that. I am not quitting my job and moving to France, even though I'd love to one day. And, last but not least, I am NOT pregnant, especially not with twins. But I do know someone who is!
So, to confirm, no lottery, no divorcing, no twins, no quitting. Got it? Good. I just had to make sure. :)