Happy new year! Yay!

I just wanted to share this with people who may understand and I know some of you readers are fellow diabetics, whether it's type 1, type 2 or type 3. My last blood sugar of 2010 was 77 at 11:30 pm. My first blood sugar of 2011, taken at 12:03 am, was 37. Same meter. Can I just say, 37 feels pretty bleck.

Goodbye, 2010. Adios. Au revoir. Gesundheit. Good night. You weren't very nice to me. I know things could have been worse and I do have my health (now), warmth, food and shelter, but you gave me loneliness, whooping cough, a broken hand and a miscarriage. I'm looking forward to bidding you adieu.

2011? I am welcoming you with open arms and an open heart. You, my lovely year, will be an excellent year. I am excited to see and experience what you will bring. Just a few more hours until you are here.

Until then, I will sit here and enjoy this glass of champagne that, otherwise, would have been (and should still be) forbidden. Cheers.

One year ago today, a beautiful little girl was born. Happy first birthday, Joslyn Elise! Your aunt and uncle love you so so much. I just wish we all lived closer together so we could see your adorable self grow and learn and play. :)

The cookie party seemed to turn out well. More updates from a computer, instead of iPhone, later. I'm tired and we are still waking up earlyish to go serve food at the rescue mission tomorrow. I hope they like cookies; they're getting a bunch.

Btw: the blood sugar started the party around 132 and I ended at 94. I spent the entire party snacking on cookies, pizza and junk. Thank goodness for square wave bolusing.

Fun video

Boxer Christmas Movie Quiz 2010 from Boxer Design on Vimeo.

This Video Christmas Card from the UK Firm Boxer has 17 film references in it. How many can you identify?

Answers at http://www.boxercreative.co.uk/christmas/answers.html

When will the hard days get easier?

Today was a hard day. This holiday season has been hard. I know it could be worse, but it's still hard.

Today, the husband and I went to Target. He left me looking at something while he went to get what we originally went to the store for. When I finished browsing, I walked to where I thought he was looking. I didn't realize I was walking through the baby section until I was halfway in it. That realization caused physical pain. It hurt. I couldn't breathe. I could feel my lungs getting tighter and tighter. I almost had to run out of that section.

Today we also received a belated thank you card from a wedding we went to in July/ August. They told us in September that they were having a baby. We told them December 3 that we were. We then had to tell them that same weekend that we lost our baby. This thank you card had a unnecessary line in it about using our gift (an engraved bottle of liquor) to "toast their little one when it arrives". Is it just me being sensitive or was that a really low blow? They both knew we lost our baby. This card was written after we told them. I feel that line really wasn't necessary to thanking us for our gift. Needless to say, it hurt.

This holiday season has been hard. We were planning on using our gifts and cards this year to tell our family and friends that we were expecting. Now we can't. I just don't feel like going out to the stores to find the remaining gifts for people when I know why I have to do it in the first place. Plus I keep seeing and hearing reminders of what happened. Even my favorite type of music, Christmas Carols, reminds me of what we no longer have. I just have to keep reminding myself that the little newborn baby these songs are singing about is why I am who I am and where I am today. That little baby is the savior who died for my sins.

But, even so, it's tough.

A goat, a sheep, chickens, ducks, medicine and multiple Bibles

What are you giving this Christmas?