I'm tired of writing posts like these

Tomorrow, I go into surgery. It's another D&E for my 4th miscarriage. 

Currently, I am 9.5 weeks pregnant (was due March 4 [Selah's original due date!]). At ultrasound a few days ago, sack measured 7.5 weeks, but baby only measured 6 weeks. My dates are correct. I am positive. No longer had a heartbeat. This baby failed to continue growing properly. 

Again.

So, yeah. D&E tomorrow. Same deal as November. I'll go into surgery with (misguided) hopes still in mind and I'll wakeup without that hope. 

I'm tired, emotionally and physically, of this. So tired. 

Selah really was my miracle child.