I had another doctor appointment today to check on me and baby. Things went well and then the doctor told me to lay back so he could check on the baby's heartbeat. A few of you guys know how nervous I was that there wouldn't be a heartbeat this time and my hopes and dreams would be dashed again. It took everything to bury those thoughts. The doctor took the machine and pressed it to my pelvis. Nothing. He moved it a bit. Still nothing. My fears started rising again. He moved it a bit more and, still, nothing. He then told me that he was going to check one more place and, if he still couldn't find anything, I would go in for an ultrasound to check again. As I stared at the painted ceiling tile, I started saying a little prayer to God and Jesus, asking for a heartbeat to be found. Asking for the baby to still be healthy. I'm surprised I was still able to keep my emotions under control. The doctor checked a little higher than he expected the baby to be at this point.
A heartbeat! A strong, healthy, fast (doctor said it was about 160) heartbeat! Indescribable joy filled my heart. My baby still has a heartbeat and a good one!
When I got in the car, a song was just starting to play and all of those tears I held back, during the fears and then the joys, spilled over.