"Honey! That Beth has put up a new blahg!"

A lot of thoughts have been flying through my mind recently. I've thought of blog entries, like, 10 thousand times, but I just was too *fill in the blank* to sit down right then and write. My mind is such a jumble of gobblety-gook that I couldn't write a decent entry about any particular topic right now. Therefore, I'm just going to do a list of sorts. It will be random. It may be detailed or it may not be. It may be long or it may be short. You may find it interesting. You may not. No guarantees, but, honestly, you know you don't get guarantees from me. Well, except one. Honesty. I will guarantee you honesty.

Well, enough pre-rambling. On to the rambling main show!

• My Meg is coming! In how many days? 2 days! Yes! However, I choose this time to fix and clean those things around the house that I procrastinated doing, such as washing the big dog and painting our 3rd bedroom, and that keeps me away from blogging here as much as I would like. I know she won't care if I didn't do any of this, but I'm going to do it anyways.

• Speaking of painting, while I was painting, I kept thinking of my friend Airhead. Why? I don't know. Airhead, if you are reading this, is everything ok?

• I've been forcing myself to get back into the facebook. It's all part of my Lent resolution: to get rid of being jealous. First, I avoided facebook because of people and their prissy pants, negative attitude towards me. I then avoided facebook because, every time I got on, someone else was announcing their (usually unplanned) pregnancy or having babies. I was jealous. It hurt. I couldn't help, but to think that should be me. I know that was silly. Those babies did not replace the one we lost. I know that, but it just stung. It still does, but this avoiding jealous by thinking of reasons I am thankful helps. Going on facebook, in a weird way, helps me heal.

• I volunteer in our church nursery on the 3rd and 5th Sundays every month and I love it. I am in a room with 1-2 year olds (those who are walking, but not yet potty training). Some times it is hard, but this past weekend was the 3rd Sunday and I loved it. There was an extra cuddly little boy who would just scream unless I was holding him. Another woman tried holding him, but he wouldn't have it. Timmy tried to hold him, but, no, he just wanted me. Baby spent the entire hour cuddling in my arms and snuggling into my hold. It reminded me and showed me one of the reasons why I desperately want a baby of my own. I can't wait until next months nursery. Maybe I'll volunteer during one of the services the Timmy is drumming during. I'll be there anyways. :)

• Rant: I am NOT a little girl anymore, but that is all he seems to see/ think. He gets the news that the cancer is growing again, that the trial is not working (which I had to hear from my mother [His ex-wife!] who heard from my brothers). Why am I the LAST to hear anything? He called me yesterday and could have told me the news, but he wouldn't. He won't talk medical with me, but he will will my brothers. I am NOT a little girl and I deserve to hear firsthand what is going on. Please.

• My brother has gone back to the "sandbox" overseas with the Air National Guard. This is not his first, second or even third visit. He's been so many times and I'm terribly afraid that his luck will run out.......................................................................................................................................................  I didn't even get to say goodbye before he left. I didn't get to tell him I love him. He needs to come back. Safely. Please pray. 

•  I'm super tired of waiting. Days seem to be going by super slow, but the days that have passed went by too fast.

Well, I'm sure I have more to say, but T is complaining that I am spending too much time on the computer and not enough time paying attention to him. He's just using one of my complaints about him on me.

Later gators.